Finding Myself Again (Journal entry last 16 June 2008)

I like looking at the sky, the clouds slowly passing by, the first thing I see when I wake up, looking at my window. It’s peaceful here, inside this square of a room. No traffic noise, no vehicles coming and going, and no instantaneous burst of a weekend band’s noise to shock me awake during weekend mornings.

This is my third night here and I couldn’t feel more content—except of course when I find a job already-which I know, in God’s grace-to be soon. I feel this is a good place for me.

This is a renewal, I have been through a lot of things-things I would like to forget-but those things made me strong. Those things changed me. I know I’m slowly becoming my old self again. I have tried to be strong on my own for so long, and it’s hard.

I’d like to be myself again, I’d like to be the same trusting, prayerful and faithful person I was before. I know I’ll be that soon enough. I know because I’m laughing the way I used to really laugh.

I know that for my life to change for the better I have to stick to my principles. I know by doing this, better things will come along.

Hope is a good thing to have. It gives your movement purpose and soul. It is like the bones in your flesh. Faith is what keeps you going, it’s that belief that He is with you and helping you, that all of these has a reason. But then, love is what I would really like to know as I don’t think I have really felt it yet.

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