Ramblings_02 (Journal Entry 26 December 2008)

I have been living here in Singapore for the past the years and it is only now that I have the desire and time to start a journal.

So many things have happened to me the past three years. I don’t know where to begin telling you my story.

But on to more trivial things, as one friend told me, I’ve become sophisticated, hmmm, maybe I’ve just become more aware of how I look. I enjoy wearing nice clothes-but honestly, one has to be fit and slim to be able to wear the clothes perfectly. Some of you might disagree but I’m speaking from experience, I found out it is better to have a trim figure so one could wear anything perfectly and comfortably.

Another entry:

Emotional Anesthesia

I feel weird about some things and I wonder why. It has been several days already and I do not recognize this feeling. Did something happen that I haven’t really processed yet? Is there anything wrong with me? With my emotions? Or have I just hit plateau regarding my feelings? This is really strange and I do not understand it.

I’m sure looking back, if I read this entry several weeks or months from now, I will not have the faintest idea what this is about. This is what I’m feeling now, it’s a bit confusing and disorienting. It’s like going somewhere and not remembering why you were going there in the first place.

I actually enjoy this feeling, it’s a bit like feeling numb, indifferent, like you couldn’t care less. It’s like feeling nothing and not owning up to it. Feeling this way lessens the pain, hurt and confusion sometimes, maybe that’s why I like it.

Something definitely happened for me to feel this way. It’s like I have an emotional anesthesia. I feel numb and I like it.

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  1. Hmm that’s very interessting but to be honest i have a hard time figuring it… wonder what others have to say..

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